stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

taco-bell-rey:

"I loved them before they got popular"

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blahblahbland:

ohhhHHHHhhh BEAUTY QUEEN

spoopycrutchie:

my color blind friend just posted this on facebook

buttlicked:

noONE IS ONLINE I CAN POST WHAT I WANT

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near-quaad:

do u ever go to unfollow someone but then u see some rly good posts and u just kind of 

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you can stay

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for now

phoneticmeow:

Tumblr on November 1st

pansysky:

spookytox:

reaill:

grimfemme:

I just wanted to eat breakfast ;(

welp now we know the distinction between the two

Have….have people…not eaten shredded wheat before? The regular sized ones?

You put it in a bowl and pour milk on it (with sugar + cinnamon if you’re not some lunatic fiber satan who just wants to eat wheat strings) and let it soak a bit before breaking it up and eating bite sized portions with your spoon.

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS?!

NONE OF US KNEW THAT

sizvideos:

Video

sizvideos:

Video

radicalace:

I just realized that I grew up during a time where the crazy frog was a thing. Like that was an actual thing that happened, that blue fucking piece of shit frog took the world by storm and it even had a tiny dick and all it did was sing annoying songs while racing around sci-fi towns in a distant future on an invisible motorbike. I can’t believe this. How did that happen. Who LET that happen.

supermegagardevoir:

THUNDERSTORMS ARE PERFECT OPPORTUNITIES TO CUDDLE.
WHAT IF THE POWER GOES OUT.
LETS MAKE A FORT.
DID LIGHTNING JUST SHOOT THROUGH OUR WINDOW?
IDK.
LETS MAKE OUT.

awwww-cute:

He popped the first two. Now he carries this one very gently